Our Shining Light, Mitsuaki
by TheBerkenstelClan
Summary: Arashi and Ciel finally have a child together. But what should have been a happy moment afterwards has suddenly turned into a nightmare for them both. Can these two have a happy ending? Yaoi, mpreg, violence, and strong language included. Rated M.
1. Prolouge

**Prologue**

What seemed like the usual fetal movements you would normally get after a pregnant person had a lot of sweets were what Ciel was feeling right now. Ciel had polished off a slice of chocolate cheese cake and chocolate milk that his husband made for him. Every expecting person would normally crave a different diet. Ciel craved cheese or chocolate for three meals a day! But his husband never complained.

Arashi was usually a serious man. But when it came to his husband, he would immediately give his attention to the other. He was a very handsome man and a very good chef. He could take simple ingredients and make them absolutely amazing. He loved his husband Ciel more than anything. He would create new dishes in his restaurant after his husband. However, he realized that Ciel was out of place in the big city he lived in. He was afraid of Ciel going out of the pent house he had, and was terrified of leaving Ciel alone. He would go to work at the restaurant, leaving Ciel in his home by himself. All day he would worry that Ciel would not be there when he returned at the end of the day, and Ciel never figured out how to use a phone so calling would not help. He started taking Ciel to work with him, but it turned out being a bad idea. Ciel wasn't able to read or write so he wasn't a good waiter. Ciel didn't know much in the kitchen because he was barely allowed into the one at his master's home; so when Ciel was in the kitchen cooking with Arashi, he would watch his hands at work and follow his husband's instructions. But during work, there was no time to teach Ciel the basics, and there was no time at home either.

Ciel was always a easy going, simple-minded and kind-hearted man. He could never turn his back to someone in need and he would somehow end up getting himself into some strange messes. Because of his beautiful face, he was easily mistaken for a woman; maybe it was also because he wore women's clothing? He speaks in third person and because of the traumatizing past he endured as a child, he is incapable of doing certain things that would easily be done with one hand. Because he was in chains and handcuffs for years, he was taught to do everything with both hands. He hated clothes after having to be naked for years, he was used to being nude. Arashi had saved him when he was younger and they fell in love.

"Arashi-kun, can we cuddle?" Ciel asked, standing in the doorway of the study. Arashi was always working and Ciel would give him all of the alone time he needed.

"Sure, my sweet." Arashi smiled. Ciel smiled brightly and rubbed his swollen belly.

"Then we will be waiting in the living room."

"Let me finish this page first." Arashi chuckled as his pregnant husband walked out of the room. Because they were a gay couple, they could not get pregnant on their own. Thanks to some help, Ciel was an experiment to see if a man could really endure pregnancy and ultimately, childbirth. At first, Arashi disagreed completely. But Ciel's want for a biological child with his husband was too much to say 'no' to. Ciel was practically begging Arashi to let him carry their child. Once the test was positive, Arashi had an emotion of worry and happiness. And every time he sees his pregnant husband having a craving or feeling their child moving within him, it made him so happy to know it was normal.

Ciel was walking back to the living room. He pressed a hand to his lower back as his arm wrapped around his stomach. He panted and closed his eyes as a wave of pain came over his body.

"Arashi…" he called as he leaned against the wall. He rubbed his stomach as the child kicked. "Arashi-kun?" He called from the hallway near the living room. He slid down the wall slowly and held his belly that was slowly hardening with each contraction.

"Be patient love." Arashi said from the study. He had no idea the pain his husband was currently feeling. If they still lived in the city, they could easily go to a hospital for Ciel to deliver their son; but because they moved out to the city, the closest thing to a hospital is a clinic in the town.

Ciel was holding his stomach and on his hands and knees, trying to crawl to the phone in the hallway to dial the doctor's number. "A-Ah…. Arashi!" Ciel screamed. Arashi came out with a worried face.

"I'm done now. So–-" Arashi stopped when he saw his husband on the floor. "Ciel!" Arashi ran over quickly and held his husband.

"I-It hurts…!"

"What hurts, beloved?"

"The baby…. I-I think he's coming…" Ciel cried. Arashi's face flushed from his color and he caught himself before fainting.

"H-He cant be coming! Its too early! We arent ready–"

"Ooh….."

"…let me call the doctor." Arashi held his husband close as he rubbed his back and looked around. "Come on… what did we learn in night classes?" Arashi tried to think. They had taken pregnancy and birthing classes together, but it was pointless.

"We learned that just because a bathroom stall is small, it can still be used in sex. And that the rail in the wheelchair bathroom isn't just used for those in a wheelchair. And sometimes we didn't go…" Ciel cried. It was true. Some days they would go to class but once Ciel had the urge to use the restroom, Arashi would end up so horny that he had to have his husband please him in the bathrooms. Some days they didn't even go to the classes and would stay home to make love. "Arashi-kun, it hurts…"

"Just relax…" Arashi grabbed the phone and dialed the clinic.

"Ah… ahhh…." Ciel whined as Arashi opened up his kimono.

"They aren't picking up…"

"Hmm… but they are closed on Tuesdays. Its Sunday…" Ciel cried.

"…shit! Ciel, it's a holiday!" Arashi bit his lip, not knowing what to do. He only remembered a few things to do but he didn't know if they applied to a pregnant _man_.

"O-Ow it hurts!" Ciel cried

"Where does–"

"Down there…!" Ciel threw his head back and let out a loud scream as blood leaked from his body. His arms and legs started shaking violently as he cried. "Arashi help…!"

"Oh my god, Ciel… your water just broke. You're having the baby." Arashi said, taking his husband into his arms and taking him to the bedroom. Arashi laid his husband on the bed and shed him of his kimono. Ciel gripped the sheets and cried in pain. "Relax, Ciel. Everything is gonna be ok." Arashi smiled as best he could as he quickly got his cell phone out and dialed the doctor's cell phone number.

"It really hurts…!" Ciel cried as Arashi ran to the bathroom and retrieved some towels. Ciel held his belly with one hand as the other hand gripped the sheets and his knees dug into the mattress. "Arashi-kun, it hurts…" Ciel cried. Arashi held onto him and kissed his lips, trying to help Ciel get his mind off the unbearable pain he was feeling.

"Ah, hello?" Arashi heard the other man on the line. Doctor Alex, its Arashi Ikeda. Its time… I know it's a holiday. I guess the baby decides when he wants to do anything. Isn't that right, Ciel?" Arashi looked up at his husband who was panting and starting to sweat but smiled anyway.

"Yes…" Ciel said weakly as he held his husband's hand. Arashi placed a towel beneath his husband. "Ahh…."

"His water broke… so… yes… ah…" Arashi listened to the doctor as he held Ciel's hand. Ciel felt the unbearable urge to push and pushed as hard as he could. "Careful, Ciel…!"

"Ahh…!" Ciel screamed and gripped the sheets. "Oh god it hurts…!" He cried

"Try to relax…"

"I cant, it hurts…!" Ciel screamed.

Hours passed while Ciel cried and Arashi listened to the doctor on the phone. Doctor Alex had ordered an ambulance to pick the two up and be taken to the clinic. Ciel was pale and lost all the color in his face. He was breathing hard and had no energy left.

"Great job, Ciel. You're going great." Arashi said, grabbing another towel. Ciel gripped the sheets as his legs were shaking. He threw his head back screaming and Arashi smiled. "The head's out…" he said to both Ciel and the doctor over the phone. That's when he noticed the excessive bleeding wasn't just fluid. "Ciel tore!" He grabbed Ciel's knee when he was trying to lock his knees together again and again. "Ciel has a huge tear…. He's bleeding a lot!" Arashi said almost in a panic. Ciel was screaming now, he wasn't able to push and if he breathed it would be in short, quick breaths. "Ciel–"

"Get him out please!" Ciel screamed at Arashi. Sweat drops rolled down his forehead and he threw his head back, pushing hard. He tried to force the child out the most he could. "It hurts it hurts!"

"Ciel…" Arashi held the child's head in his hands and looked up at his husband's face twisted in pain. He heard knocks on his door and a loud voice.

"Paramedics! Do we have permission to kick open your door!" The doctor said. Ciel was screaming and threw his head back as he arched his back and his wound only bled more.

"Break it down! Get in here!" Arashi yelled, looking at his husband going through hell. "Don't worry, Ciel. I will be right here and I'm going to help you…"

XxXxXxXxX

With help from the paramedics, Ciel delivered a healthy baby boy. He was a bit small, but mostly because his mother was pretty short. The new mother was collapsed against the pillows on the bed and trying to catch his breath. Arashi held the crying bundle in his arms, holding back tears.

"Ciel, he's beautiful." Arashi smiled. He had cut the child's umbilical cord and watched as the newborn cried in his arms. "Shhh…. Mitsuaki, shhh…." Arashi cooed to the child. The newborn quickly quieted down and went right to dreamland.

"Can I see him?" Ciel asked softly.

"Of course." Arashi smiled and helped his weakened husband hold their child. "He has your adorable sleeping face."

"He has your hair." Ciel chuckled, holding their creation closely. "He's adorable… our shining light… Mitsuaki…" Ciel held the bundle closer.

"You really did do a great job." Arashi said, kissing Ciel's soft lips. He looked at Ciel's face and noticed how pale he was. He was fighting to keep his eyes open. "Ciel…?"

"Ciel is tired…" Ciel whispered. He had lost a lot of blood and when Arashi took his arm, his heart rate was rather weak.

"Ciel… please, don't go to sleep…" Arashi took Ciel's hand and held it closely.

"But…" Ciel closed his eyes. His hand slipped out of the other man's hand and fell limply onto the bed.

**To be Continued…**

**~Author's Notes~**

I probably know what a lot of you are going to say. "Why so many stories with Arashi and Ciel?". I like the idea of a tortured young man and a loving, serious husband together. And this is my first mpreg family story. Why does Ciel have the baby? Because it makes more sense to me that the more feminine male become pregnant and have the child than the more mature one have the child. The child's name is Mitsuaki.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: His Eyes**

In Arashi's POV!

Ciel had needles in his arm and a breathing mask as he laid in the bed of the clinic. He breathed as if his lungs were made of glass. His eye lids fluttered as I tried to bring him back.

"Ciel, stay with me… stay with us, come on, Ciel."

"Arashi-kun… Ciel is tired…"

"Please, lets talk some more."

"Ciel is too tired to talk… after a nap…"

"No, Ciel, please!" I had tears in my eyes but I didn't want to start crying. I knew if I started to cry, Ciel wouldn't get any better. I watched as Ciel closed his eyes and was forced out of the room by the doctor and a few nurses.

The room I was forced to wait in was cold and I felt so empty. There were people there to buy medicine and some for a check up. My eyes were red now. I didn't get any sleep last night. Ciel had our baby late last night and was immediately taken to the clinic and was put under intensive care.

_'Our baby…'_ I just remembered our son. Our sweet little baby that was born only a few hours ago… he was taken under the care by some nurses. He was born premature by about three weeks and a few days. He looks perfect though… I looked up and noticed the doctor calling me over. I felt like I could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

"I'm sorry. Your husband is…" _Don't say dead._ "In a coma.". That's when I felt as if my world was torn apart. I was taken back to Ciel's room. He lay there on the bed, sleeping peacefully. I was left alone as I stood beside my husband's bed. The machine gave small beeps, probably being the one to measure his heart. His face didn't move. He had an oxygen mask and even a tube in his throat in case he stopped breathing. The rising and falling of his chest were what really made me know he was alive. His body was so frail… inside, I knew something bad would happen. But… I never suspected something like this would happen.

"Oh Ciel… I have caused you so much pain…" I broke down to my knees, unable to look at my husband any longer. My husband. I loved him so much. I loved him more than the world. Loved… why am I using it in past tense like this? He is alive! I love him… even if his chance at surviving this is slim, I will still love him. I stayed on the ground crying until I heard the small cries from the cradle in the corner of the room.

_You._ I walked over to the cradle that held our child in it. Mitsuaki was whining and screaming. _'Its all your fault. If you weren't born… if we never had a child, Ciel wouldn't be like this! If you never existed then none of this would happen! Disappear… Disappear!'_. I cant believe I was thinking these thoughts… to my son! My pure little boy… but it was true. His birth was the cause of Ciel's pain. I was just about to put my hands on his throat, going to strangle him… when he opened his eyes. Mitsuaki's big blue eyes looked just like Ciel's. They were beautiful… like his mother's. I couldn't bring myself to kill my son. I gathered the crying child in my arms and sat in the chair mothers would hold their children in. Poor little Mitsuaki…

"Hi Mitsuaki… I'm your daddy. I know I am young… but you are my son. You… have your mother's beautiful eyes…" I chuckled as I spoke to my son. But it seemed my voice calmed him. He looked up at me and smiled. "You have such an adorable smile… you know, your mother had a beautiful smile too. And he is so pretty. Your mommy is very young too. You have young parents…" my heart sank when I realized this. I'm young. I make mistakes. But now I have a child. I have a life to take care of. I have a life that depends on me not making mistakes! "But don't worry. I promise to keep you happy… we have a shop. You can have all the candy and sweets you like." I smile as I hold my adorable son. "Mitsuaki…"

XxXxXxXxX

It has been four months now since Ciel fell asleep. Every day I go to see him. It doesn't matter what kind of weather it is, I go to make sure he is alright. But I have to admit… it is so hard when my husband is asleep. I have to make the sweets, decorate them, and put them in the case. Then I sell them. When the rush of customers is low, I clean the outside of the shop, the windows, the tables and chairs, the back room, bake more sweets, do inventory, and all of this comes to a stop when Mitsuaki needs me. I had not realized but Ciel does way too much cleaning and baking for one person to handle. An elderly lady comes in many times because she "has a craving for our sweets" and even though the taste of these have changed, she still comes in to see our sweet four month old. The sweets at the shop don't taste as good when Ciel isn't here… or maybe its because he makes it differently? No… its definitely because he isn't here with us.

"Good afternoon Mr. Ikeda." The elderly lady says as I am stocking the case.

"Oh welcome again, Ms. Fuyukawa. Here for another cake?"

"Yes. And to see that adorable little angel you have." She smiled as she saw Mitsuaki in a cradle behind the counter.

"He looks like his mother…" I say as she selects one of the cakes.

"I can see when he is awake that he has his mother's big curious eyes. But he looks a lot like you, Mr. Ikeda."

"This one is on the house." I say as I put it on a plate for her. She always eats it here.

"On the house? How will you make money if you give your delectable sweets away…?"

"Don't worry about it. Want a drink? Its free too." I manage a smile. I can see why Ciel always gave this elderly lady free sweets. I never minded, but I see why he just gives it to her without a second thought.

"Thank you so much." She said, smiling. I served her a cup of our finest tea. "Oh how is your husband?" She asked as she looked at Mitsuaki.

"Arashi-kun, I have brought out the candies." A familiar voice says from behind. I turn around…and there he is. The beautiful figure in a red Chinese dress, black stockings, his long hair pulled back into a bun with his hime-cut part down and had chopsticks in his hair.

"Ciel…"

"Where can I put these?"

"Honey, when did you come back…?"

"This tray is heavy. Its hot too. I burned my hand." I watched as Ciel placed the tray on the top of the case and showed me his burned hand. "It hurts… Arashi…"

"Ciel… you clumsy little cutie." I wrapped his arms around him

"Ciel is sleeping." Ciel said into my ear.

"Mr. Ikeda?" Ms. Fuyukawa's voice broke my train of thought. "You are talking to the air."

Again? Damn… this isn't the first time this happened to me. I imagine seeing my sweet husband around the house or shop. I miss him that much…

"I'm sorry. No need to be alarmed. This is normal." I try to smile as I take a deep breath. I start thinking of him… how he would smile all the time and how he always watched my hands. I swear, he had a hand fetish. He is also so very sensitive when I touch him with the hands that he loves so much… I see Ciel again. Or rather, this vision of Ciel. He is standing beside me, holding a small cake shaped like a star. It has blue fondant and has so many small decorations. It has words on it… "Arashi-kun"… I put my hands up to accept this gift… but when he places it in my hands, it falls right through when Mitsuaki begins to whine.

"Oh no, you poor baby…" I watch as the elderly lady take our son. That's when I realized… I was making a rather irritated face at my _son_! "He wet his diaper."

"Let me change him." I quickly took Mitsuaki. I'm sorry, Mitsuaki… I love you so much. _Please _don't think I don't. I just… really need Ciel right now… I was changing my son and looked down at him. His big blue eyes staring back at me. He really did look like Ciel… His eyes were just like his mother's. And that's what made it hurt a bit.

"Will you be closing early again…?"

"Yes… I will be leaving early. Come on, Mitsuaki." I pick my son up and start bouncing him a little. "Lets go see mommy." I chuckle and kiss my son's sweet cheek. I look out the window and notice a man staring in but quickly leaving.

"What a strange man…" the elderly woman says to me

"Yes… I know why he is here…" I say simply as I hold onto my son closely.

XxXxXxXxX

The room Ciel was in was so quiet and cold. I sat in a chair beside him as I hold our son. Mitsuaki was wearing the outfit Ciel chose. I remembered going shopping for baby outfits and seeing Ciel's face light up when he saw this. It was a sailor suit, sort of. It was white and blue with a little yellow tie, blue shorts, and an adorable little hat that had a ribbon on it. Ciel loved this outfit.

"Mitsuaki, here's mommy." I say, letting our son see Ciel asleep. Ciel is asleep peacefully. I hold his soft hand… he is cold. _'Poor Ciel… poor Ciel…'_ I keep thinking this as Mitsuaki also holds his hand. "His hand is very soft, isn't it, Mitsu-chan? Puni puni."

"Puri puri!" Mitsuaki loved making noises.

"Can you say mommy? Mama. This is your mama. I am your papa."

"Ma…maa…"

"Come on, you can say it." I smile down at my son who is trying so hard to speak. I listen to the beating heart rate on the monitor as well as my son babbling on my lap as I take Ciel's thin hand. He is pale and all of the body mass he seemed to have withered away from not eating or moving.

"Baa…" I heard Mitsuaki say. He was probably going to say baa-baa when he wants a bottle. I hold Ciel's hand and speak to him, like I always do.

"Ciel… its me. Its Arashi. Are you dreaming?" I ask him. No response. "What is it you are dreaming of?" I ask. No response. "I need you, Ciel… I really need you here with me…" I put my head on his chest and close my eyes, crying again. "Please Ciel…" I grip his hand tightly. "Please come back, Ciel. Please…"

"Maa… Mama…"

To Be Continued…

~Author's Notes~

Hmm.. I don't know when babies actually learn to start talking. But Arashi is very intelligent so his child starts talking at a very young age then? This chapter was meant to be a question chapter and the next will be a question/answer chapter I suppose. We'll see how it plays out I guess. I never really plan. *eats pocky while watching various anime* I'll get to it when I'm good and ready.


End file.
